Bachelor Party

Starring: Tom Hanks, Tawny Kitaen, Adrian Zmed, William Tepper, Wendie Jo Sperber 
Written by: Neal Israel, Bob Israel

Director: Neal Israel 
Year: 1984

Rating: * * *   Stars       +       (Fan Bonus -  )  Total: * * *

With a wedding around the corner, friends decide to throw their pal an unforgettable bachelor party.

Rick and Debbie(Tom Hanks and Tawny Kitaen) couldn't be more opposite if you tried. Rick is a school bus driver living off of grilled cheese and sends his nights drinking with his buddies, as if he were perpetually 17 years old. Debbie is an educated young woman from a wealthy and affluent family. Yet, opposites attract, and these two are getting married. When they each break the news to their respective friends, madness ensues. Rick's friends decide to throw a bachelor party consisting of hookers, drugs, loud music, stag films, food and booze. Debbie's friends throw a quiet and reserved bridal shower. Debbie has only one request of Rick, that he has fun at his party, so long as he doesn't have sex with anyone else. He vows to do so. But Rick's night has just begun, and if fighting temptation isn't enough, he has to contend with Debbie's Father, and her ex-boyfriend Cole, who want nothing more to break the two of them up. Cole sabotages their efforts initially with the hookers by giving the pimp a different address. Where? To Debbie's party. There, they put on a demonstration for these refined women, infuriating them. They suspect they were intended for Rick and for revenge go to a strip club themselves. Meanwhile, Rick contends with a suicidal friend, an assassination attempt by Cole shooting arrows from the hotel room across the street, and a naked and willing old high school flame that wants one night with him. 

Perhaps not Tom Hanks' proudest film, Bachelor Party featured Tom when he was firmly rooted in comedy. As far as sex romp films go, this film is the gold standard. Plenty of t&a, with a bit of female full frontal, there is still plenty of comedy and plot that makes this a perfect beer and pizza film to watch with your buddies. 

SEE THE TRAILER: Bachelor Party

Judgement At Nuremberg

Starring: Spencer Tracey, Burt Lancaster, Richard Widmark, Maximilian Shell, Marlene Dietrich, Judy Garland, William Shatner
Written by: Abby Mann

Director: Stanley Kramer
Year: 1961

Rating: * * * *   Stars       +       (Fan Bonus -  )  Total: * * * *

In post war, occupied Germany, four former Nazi's are tried as war criminals.

Spencer Tracey plays Judge Dan Haywood, who arrives in Nuremberg in 1948 to preside over the trial of four Nazi judges accused of war crimes in helping Hitler with his cleansing Germany of the socially undesirable. Richard Widmark is the prosecuting attorney who accuses them of being willing and evil accomplices of the Nazi's atrocities. Howard soon discovers that it isn't that simple.

It's been three years since the events of WWII, and with the cold war heating up, it seems politically, allied governments want to move on from this, and best let it be forgotten. This becomes one of many of the films powerful undertones. Should such atrocities be forgotten, or remembered? As the case evolves, the apparent choices the defendants faced were split between their allegiance to their country, and their allegiance to their own sense of humanity.

This film, nominated for 11 Oscars, including 2 wins, is a hard-hitting and compelling courtroom drama revolving around a subject matter that to this day still resonates with audiences. Maximilian Shell, Spencer Tracy and Judy Garland put in career defining performances. The use of authentic footage depicting crimes in concentration camps forces audiences to confront the unfiltered truth of the evils of the Nazi regime. The self-damning testimony at the end wakens us to the true criminals of this era, all of us. Whether through silent consent, self imposed ignorance, or fanatical loyalty, we were all in some way, responsible.

The relevance of this film is just as important as it was in 1961, that we should never forget, less we are doomed to repeat it. 

SEE THE TRAILER: Judgement At Nuremberg

*****On a special note, Retro Review celebrates its 50th review. Hope everyone has enjoyed the reviews so far, and we'll see you at post 100.*****

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Starring: Jason Robards, Jonathan Pryce, Diane Ladd
Written by: Ray Bradbury

Director: Jack Clayton
Year: 1983

Rating: * * *  Stars       +       (Fan Bonus -  )  Total: * * *

A sinister October carnival comes to a small American town to prey on its people. Two young boys uncover the demonic truth behind this unusual festive carny. 

Often films are described for "all ages", but rarely are. Usually it means kids will love it, and parents won't fall asleep. Something Wicked This Way Comes is one of those rare exceptions, preying simultaneously on the fears of young and old alike. Rated PG, this film adapted from horror/sci-fi legend Ray Bradbury needs no language, nudity or gore to tell its wicked tale, yet is still delicious horror fun. Small children will cover their eyes as the monsters reveal themselves. There's plenty of spooky scenes that will keep them up at night. Older kids, maybe 9-13, will relate to the plight of the two central characters, Tom and Will. They're both about 10 years old, and dream about growing up. Especially Tom, who wants to run off and find his Father. Will fears his best friend will make good on this and run away, leaving him all alone. Regret and age envy is a theme that not only resonates with a young audience, but with adults, and this is played out in a few scenes, most notably with Jason Robard's character, Charles Halloway, the elderly father of Will. Charles lives with regret, being too old and with a bad condition that kept him from saving his son from drowning years before. He had to suffer on the shore as someone else thankfully dove in and saved him.

Enter Mr. Dark and his carnival. Rides, games, and attractions for all. Here, wishes are granted and fulfilled for a fee. Mr. Dark is wonderfully played by Johnathan Pryce, who preys upon the good people of the town by turning their dreams into reality, only to twist them in some perverted outcome enslaving them to the carnival. A one-armed bartender gave up on his dreams of being a football player ever since the accident that cost him his arm. An elderly teacher wishes to be young and beautiful again, but is stricken blind and cannot see her own reflection. They seemingly hand over their souls, but are cheated. That is until Will and Tom spy what's really going on. Mr. Dark begins a search for the boys throughout the town, but to no avail. Mr. Dark makes a tempting offer to Mr. Halloway, promising to rewind the clock, and allow him to be young again, and remove the guilt he's carried all this time. 

Arthur Hill is wonderful as the film's narrator, who's sweet voice captures the wonder and innocence of childhood, yet betrays the sinister undertones of the evil about to descend upon the town. Johnathan Pryce literally steals each scene he is in. He's sinister and charming, diabolical and mysterious. A perfect performance for this part. Jason Robards pulls it off as a sympathetic character who has to confront his own demons. Fine performances and wonderful scenery make this a treasured addition to the horror genre, all be it more lighthearted. 

SEE THE TRAILER: Something Wicked This Way Comes

So I Married An Axe Murderer

Starring: Mike Myers, Nancy Travis, Anthony LaPaglia
Written by: Robbie Fox

Director: Thomas Schlamme
Year: 1993

Rating: * * *  Stars       +       (Fan Bonus -  )  Total: * * *

For Charlie, fear of commitment has ruined his relationships. Now, he's going to follow through. Just one slight problem, his Bride-to-be just might be a serial killer.

Mike Myers plays Charlie Mackenzie, a regular on the San Francisco poetry scene who falls for a woman, Harriet Michaels (Nancy Travis) who runs a butcher shop. After a few dates, they hit it off  enough for him to take her to meet his parents, Stuart (also Mike Myers) and May (Brenda Fricker). Both parents are obvious Scottish immigrants judging from their accent, decor, and framed photo of Sean Connery. Charlies Mother introduces him to an article in the Weekly World News about a mysterious woman who has killed three men and is still on the lose. Charlie scoffs at the publication, but his fear of commitment kicks in, and things in Harriet's past begin to surface that makes Charlie believe she's a killer. Anthony LaPaglia plays Charlie's best friend and police officer, Tony Giardino. Tony is a character unfulfilled in his job, as police work is very boring, and nothing like it is on television. His Captain humors him from time to time by chewing him out in front of everyone. 

This is an interesting chapter in the career of Mike Myers. Having graduated SNL, and both Wayne's World films a hit, this was his first solo outing. While not as well received, So I Married An Axe Murderer delivers the laughs, although a bit more softly than we're used to. We also see the seeds of his hits to come, most notably with Mike playing dual roles of Charlie Mackenzie and his father, Stuart Mackenzie. This is a formula he perfected later with his Austin Power's films. Mike pokes fun at his Scottish heritage, with Stuart ranting and raving as only a Scotsman can with a voice that would later belong to the character and film, Shrek. Rounding out the cast are cameo's by Michael Richards, Steve Wright, Phil Hartman and Charles Grodin. 

This is certainly a date night comedy, which is out of the ordinary for Myers, who's sensibilities leans toward adolescent humor. Still, it has a quality, and an overall satisfying experience.

SEE THE TRAILER: So I Married An Axe Murderer

The Goonies

Starring: Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman, Jeff Cohen, Martha Plimpton
Written by: Steven Spielberg, Chris Columbus

Director: Richard Donner
Year: 1985

Rating: * * * * 1/2  Stars       +       (Fan Bonus -  )  Total: * * * * 1/2

Prepare for swashbuckling adventure as a group of kids go after pirate treasure in this wonderful tale for all ages.

The Goonies are a group of tween age friends who live in the poor side of town. A wealthy developer is foreclosing on their homes, and they gather together for a last goonie weekend before they're forced to move. Discovering an old map in the attic, and combining it with a local pirate legend, the gang set off to find "the rich stuff" and save their homes. But several obstacles are in the way. First is the older brother Brand (Josh Brolin) who's tasked with babysitting his brother, and Goonie member Mikey (Sean Astin). There is also criminals to contend with. The entrance to the caves is right inside the gangs hideout. The Fratelli Family, including Ma, and her two criminal boys, Jake and Francis. Plus, once in the caves, they confront more boobie-traps than Indiana Jones ever did. 

What makes this film great is simply its characters. Mikey is a wide-eyed dreamer with asthma. Data (Ke Huy Quan)is an Asian kid caught somewhere between James Bond and Inspector Gadget. Mouth (Corey Feldman) is the obnoxious trouble maker. And the breakthrough character Chunk (Jeff Cohen) who's large and loves food and telling tall tales. They're joined by their older brother Brand, and two girls, one of which has a crush on Brand, Andy (Kerri Green) and Stef (Martha Plimpton). The gang escapes through the tunnels but Chunk is captured by the Fratelli's. They pursue the gang through the tunnels while Chunk is left tied up in a room with a monster, a deformed, retarded 3rd Fratelli brother named Sloth. Sloth's warm hearted nature puts Chunk's fears at ease, and the two form a friendship, and soon pursue the Fratellis who pursue the Goonies.

Steven Spielberg proves his ability at casting as each of these kids put in performances that some seasoned actors couldn't pull off. The final battle aboard the pirate ship is pure movie gold. 

SEE THE TRAILER: The Goonies

History of the World, Part 1

Starring: Mel Brooks, Gregory Hines, Dom DeLuise
Written by: Mel Brooks
Director: Mel Brooks
Year: 1981

Rating: * * *   Stars       +       (Fan Bonus *  )  Total: * * * *

Spoof master Mel Brooks is at it again, only now spoofing all of History. Evolution will never be the same.

Mel Brooks treats us to an anthology of short stories that span history from the dawn of man to the distant future. Each story has its own presentation. For example, we are treated to life with the early cavemen. This is narrated by none other than Orson Welles himself. Sid Caesar and Rudy De Luca are among the cavemen who come across fire, the first cave drawings, and the matrimonial ceremonies of ancient man. Next we explore ancient Rome. Rather than a narrator going over general events, this is a story focusing on Comicus, a stand-up philosopher. Things go wrong when he accidently insults Emperor Nero. Next Mel Brooks blends his love of theater with the Spanish Inquisition, where he plays famed torturer Torquemada, and the entire skit is a big production song and dance number. Finally, we go to France at the beginning of the French Revolution, where the nobles dress the local piss boy as the King, Louie XVI. If the peasants storm the gates, he'll get killed and the real King will be sped away to safety. But before the film is over, we're treated to scenes from a sequel (which was never intended to be filmed that include Hitler On Ice, a Viking Funeral, and Jews In Space.

Mel Brooks plays many roles in this film, and each chapter has its own treatment. Gregory Hines and Madeline Kahn certainly steal the show as the slave Josephus and Empress Nympho respectively. A great cast round out the film, including Dom DeLuise, Sid Caesar, Cloris Leachman, Charlie Callas, and Henny Youngman. This isn't Mel Brooks' finest work, but it does showcase his talent and sense of humor. Keep your ears open, cause this film contains a wealth of memorable lines. 

SEE THE TRAILER: History Of The World, Part 1

Aliens

Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Bill Paxton, Lance Henriksen
Written by: James Cameron, David Giler
Director: James Cameron
Year: 1986

Rating: * * * *   Stars       +       (Fan Bonus *  )  Total: * * * * *

After surviving the horrible ordeal aboard her spaceship, the Nostromos, Lt. Ripley is rescued from cryogenic hibernation 57 years later, and must return to the planet where the alien was originally brought on board, as the lives of colonists are in jeopardy.

Director James Cameron proves his directorial sensibilities that made his future films like Titanic and Avatar the colossal successes they were in this installment of the Alien movie franchise. While the original Alien was indeed a horror film, Cameron wisely decides not to try and top the horror element, but swerve its direction into an action/adventure tale. While there is still some scary moments, the film amps up the on screen action. James Cameron realizes that once the monster is exposed in the first film, it's hard to make it scary again. So he instead makes the aliens more dangerous. Instead of one alien, there are hundreds, working in unison as a collective hive, and of course something unseen, a Queen alien.

The cast of characters, mostly Colonial Marines, are diverse and compelling. Although most end up as fodder for the Aliens, Cameron doesn't treat them as such. In fact, the aliens don't even get involved till well over an hour into the film. Rather, Cameron builds rapport between the characters and the audience. Hicks (Michael Biehn) is the quiet Corporal who is thrusted into a leadership role. Hudson (Bill Paxton) is a loudmouth, obnoxious smart-ass convinced of his own greatness. Sgt. Apone (Al Matthews) is a Gruff disciplinarian. Lt. Gorman (William Hope) is the man in charge, but lacks any real combat experience, and hasn't earned the respect of his men. Private Vasquez is one tough chick, hard, but practical.  Rounding out this motley assortment is Burke (Paul Rieiser), the company man who's overseeing the mission as sponsored by his company. Bishop (Lance Henriksen) who is an android, and completely mistrusted by Ripley, considering her last experience with artificial humanoids. And of course Ripley herself, who is coaxed into this mission as a consultant.

Once characters and relationships are established, things take a turn for the worse. The aliens attack and only a few survive. With the original drop ship compromised, they need to make their way to the relay station and call down for the spare, which has to be piloted remotely. Also, there is a problem with the cooling system, and the facility is about to explode in less than 4 hours. Not to mention, the aliens are hunting down the survivors. Tension and suspense mounts as this film moves towards its dramatic conclusion.

This formula has been copied in future horror/action films, but rarely with this kind of care. The special effects are fantastic, and clearly fit into Cameron's stylized vision of the future, elements of which can be seen in Terminator 1 & 2, as well as Avatar.

SEE THE TRAILER: Aliens

Falling Down

Starring: Michael Douglas, Robert Duvall
Written by: Ebbe Roe Smith
Director: Joel Schumacher
Year: 1993

Rating: * * * *   Stars       +       (Fan Bonus -  )  Total: * * * *

One day, an average guy suffering from the pressures of life, snaps. Now, he wages a one man war against societies ills on his quest to simply go home.

Michael Douglas plays William Foster, an out of work defense contractor who has had it up to his eyes with societies woe's. Abandoning his car in the middle of a morning traffic jam, he sets out on foot to buy a present and arrive home in time for his little girl's birthday party. Along the way he stops at a Korean convenience store needing change to make a phone call. The clerk insists he buys something, and William purchases a single can of Coke. The clerk charges 85 cents, not leaving enough for the phone call. Outraged at the mark up, he trashes the store until the clerk relents. Next, he takes on a couple hoods who try and steal his briefcase. Out for revenge, the hoods are unsuccessful at a drive-by, and William collects their guns. Next, when he's denied breakfast at a Whammy Burger, because he's 3 minutes late, he holds the place up. And it only gets worse. William Foster cuts a path of violence throughout Los Angeles as he is "standing up for his rights as a consumer." 

Robert Duvall plays detective Prendergrast, who's putting in his last day at work, having booked an early retirement. Yet he gets involved in this one last case involving William. His wife, having come off a mental breakdown, pressures him to just come home. Prendergrast is both admired and disrespected by fellow officers for his unwavering loyalty to her.


Joel Schumacher carefully balances the character of William, making him a sympathetic, yet despicable character. Both the protagonist and villain of the film, the audience cannot help but side with him. We admire his actions, even if he is dangerous. Make no mistake, William may have snapped as this film opens, but as the film moves forward, his manic nature is revealed to have been an ongoing thing. He is returning home to a wife and child that have a restraining order against him. He was going to "work" even though he has no job. And he defends the contents of a briefcase with his life, which turns out to be a sandwich and an apple. We find ourselves rationalizing his crimes. He doesn't steal, he pays for the Coke and breakfast. His actions with the gang, and on the golf course are the results of being provoked. He doesn't initiate any violence, he merely reacts to it. And can anyone feel sorry for the guy in the Army/Navy store? William is insane and dangerous, yet we vicariously thrill ourselves through him as he does what we are afraid to do.

Falling Down is also a cautionary tale. Michael Douglas's performance of an unassuming every-man warns us that you can't judge a book by its cover. Indeed, that person in the car next to you, on the elevator, on the subway car, or walking past you on the street may just be a man on the edge. 

SEE THE TRAILER: Falling Down

The Evil Dead

Starring: Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss
Written by: Sam Raimi
Director: Sam Raimi
Year: 1981

Rating: * * *   Stars       +       (Fan Bonus *  )  Total: * * * *

College friends decide to spend a weekend in an isolated cabin, only to unwittingly awaken an ancient evil of Lovecraftian proportions.

Five friends arrive at a cabin. As they explore their new surroundings, they come across a reel to reel audio recorder. The voice belonged to a professor, who used it as a personal journal, to record his translations of the Necronomicon, an ancient book of the dead. When he begins reciting incantations from the book, an evil is summoned in the surrounding woods, and their night of terror and torment has just begun.

Evil Dead is a film that needs to be studied in film schools across America. Young directors with limited budgets telling incredibly scary films having to rely on their own innovations in filmmaking is a lost art these days. Sam Raimi writes and directs this film which is an almost non-stop assault on the senses. Demons possess the victims, plenty of bloodshed, and unique camera techniques make for a white knuckled experience unlike anything previously seen. The visual effects are brilliant in their simplicity. Most of the fluid emanating from wounds inflicted on the demonically possessed was milk. This not only made it visually distinctive between humans and demons, but also kept the MPAA from giving it an X rating. Creamed corn dyed green is used as zombie guts. Cheap, practical, and far more visceral than CGI. 

Film buffs need to keep an eye out for a poster of The Hills Have Eyes in the cabin's basement. This is an inside joke between director Sam Raimi, and fellow director and film student pal Wes Craven. Wes stated that his Hills Have Eyes was the scariest film ever. Here, Sam is declaring his film as the new fright king. This rivalry is carried on in Hills Have Eyes 2, where an Evil Dead poster is seen. Finally, in Evil Dead 2, there is a Hills Have Eyes 2 poster.

This film spawned two sequels, Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness, both escalating the comedic elements of the story, but Evil Dead is certainly grounded in horror.

SEE THE TRAILER: The Evil Dead